After the Webinar: The Success Equation. Q&A with Marc Hildebrand

Webinar presenter Marc Hildebrand answered a number of your questions after his presentation, The Success Equation: The formula to help you master any area of your life FAST! Here are just a few of his responses.

 

Audience Question: Mark, if we’re starting off at zero, which part of the success equation would you recommend starting on first?

Marc Hildebrand: Oh! That’s a great question. I, most likely, would focus on consistency, I would pick one activity that you can do. That’s incongruent towards your goal. The great thing about this is as you go, you’re going to start to build momentum, which is what we’re going to be talking about in July. Momentum is like energy, and it is so much easier to overcome difficulties when you have energy and momentum. We’ve all had those times where we are on fire and even a big incident, we can just keep our calm and cool. But when we don’t have energy, we don’t have momentum. We haven’t done it and even the smallest thing just tends to get us all frustrated and flustered. Well, that’s because energy, momentum, and consistency really do help. So, I would pick consistency. Pick one of those books up and just start reading it. Even if that means that you’re not going to focus on, you know, getting out and actually working out or doing any of that kind of stuff. Just reading those books, I promise you will get you into that mindset you need to get up and start focusing on that. And realizing it’s not an all-or-nothing thing. And what people tend to forget is, that if you are doing nothing, doing a little bit goes a long way. So, there are people who sign up for my team, and they’re like, “Mark, I’ve got so much weight to lose” and I’m like “Great because when you start getting consistent, you know how quickly that’s going to be in the beginning? It’s like it’s the difference between, you know, the first 20 pounds that you have to lose versus the last two or 3 pounds. Those last two or 3 pounds were like, “Oh my god,” but in reality, when you just get started you have the greatest opportunity. You have the greatest opportunity to really speed up your progress, but then also like not only to motivate yourself but inspire other people to do the same. That being said, I want to make sure that I just asked you to find your heart voice. I got you to stop focusing on your head voice. So, your heart voice says this is a great position for me to be in, it’s going to allow me to have this great opportunity to inspire a ton of people by doing this. Can you see how that feels different than just focusing on your head voice? Of like, “Oh, man, which one should I start with? There’s a wrong answer here. I’ve got so much to lose.” That is, your head voice is trying to keep you stuck, right. So, I wanted to point that out. I always love to talk about this whole philosophy of mindset and really share bring up certain questions. Because guys, like, when you understand this, you can go off, and you can do this for yourself when you find your head voice kind of like being really loud.

 

Audience Question: Can you suggest some additional techniques to focus on your heart voice rather than your head voice? 

Marc Hildebrand: Oh, absolutely. So, I actually have a certification that I have. It’s called the push-go certification. And in there, we actually walk people through lists of questions that they can ask to find our heart voice. Now I know also inside of my course, inside of the Justice Clearinghouse, I have posted, I think there are like 30 something questions that will help people identify their heart voice. Now, the thing is about the head versus the heart is usually there are 1 or 2 heartstrings that are like the ones that give you the most push, all right? So, like let’s say, for example, let’s say your kids are that right? So, for me, personally, my kids and my wife that’s those heartstrings for me. So whenever, I think about, like, let’s say, something pops into my mind, and I’m like, oh, you know what? I’m not going to do this or it’s. It’s too uncomfortable or whatever I think about number one, the impact. What if I did that, what kind of impact would it make on my family and for my wife, and I think about like. What would I be giving up for them if I wouldn’t put in that energy and effort? I would also ask myself, like, hey, if my kids or my wife came up to me, and they said they wanted to do this, what would I tell them? And so really, it’s about identifying which of those heartstrings like some people like, they’re really religious. And so, for them, it’s their creator. I would ask you what would your creator say about you if he or she heard you saying that thing? And when you think about that, you’d be like, oh, okay, if that was something that was really important and meaningful to you, that would make a significant heart voice come out from you. Right. And so, finding that specific way that specific heart voice of yours is important. So, figure out some questions that are really helpful. Those are some that I usually will ask people. I will also usually ask them that question that I had in there, which is, what is important or meaningful about that thing that you’re about to do? What is important or meaningful to you, to your family, and to the world? And a lot of times, because we are rooted in this service-based mentality, we realized that we would be giving up stuff for ourselves. But really, when we notice that it affects other people, that’s when we can kind of get ourselves to take action. So those are a couple of different resources. Any follow-up questions. Don’t hesitate to reach out to me. But, yes, this is a very specific topic. That’s why I created the entire life coach certification I co-created it with my mentor. Because it’s one of those things that takes time to develop that. And if I could give you one question that would work for every human on the planet, I would give it to you 50 times. But it’s one of those things where you have to learn how to develop that from people by asking them powerful questions.

 

Audience Question: There are so many things that my heart voice is saying to do. So how do I focus on the first small step that I should take? 

Marc Hildebrand: So, there’s this great book, it’s called the One Thing, I’m sorry to keep recommending books, but guys, I’m in the process of reading it for like the 10th time. And one of the questions is, What’s the one thing to do today that will make all of the other things easier or irrelevant? So basically, I think of this. I think of, like, when I look at these things that my heart voice is telling me to do. What’s the one thing that I can do and focus on that will make all of the others either irrelevant or easier, and usually there’s one that sticks up above the rest. If there’s not, just do a crapshoot, any single one of those is going to help you. But usually, there’s one that’s like, “Okay, if I focus just on my health, that would be that starting point for me.” That was the one for me, right? I was 100 pounds overweight. I was giving it all to my career, I did not have my time management. I wasn’t the father or the husband that I wanted to be. It started with a decision to get healthy. And by doing that, it literally generated and moved to the other ones. So, I would ask yourself that question is like, what is the one thing that I can focus on that would make all of the other things easier or irrelevant to do? And when you’re able to do that, just plug right into that one.

 

Audience Question: What was the definition that you shared about self-confidence? Could you repeat that? 

Marc Hildebrand: Yes, So, confidence versus self-confidence. So, what self-confidence is, it’s having confidence in yourself, despite any outside evidence to prove that it’s true. So, you don’t need any outside evidence to prove that you’re worthy. It’s already there. You already have it already inside of you. So many times, we look to the outside world to basically be the affirmation of the confirmation that we’re on track. That’s not how it works. You have to start on the inside. And that’s really the job of a leader, right? A job, a leader is to set the pace, to set the direction, and to like to be unmoved by the opinions of others. And by doing that, you can like, not only transform your life but actually inspire other people to do that, too.

 

Audience Question: How might these techniques work or need to be adjusted, if someone is also dealing with depression? 

Marc Hildebrand: So, this is a question that comes up a lot, because I help a lot of police officers in my mastermind team, and they differentiate the difference between a coach and a therapist. So, what a therapist does is get you unstuck. So, there’s some kind of past trauma that we all experience by the way. I’ve gone to a therapist six times, every single time, it has helped me tremendously. The first time I get and experienced trauma, that’s the first place I go. I know there’s a stigma somewhere, but not for me, and not for anybody that I talk to. The reason why is because they help you get unstuck. If you’re not moving, a coach is not going to help you. A coach helps you go from a good pace to an exceptional pace. All right? They help speed up the process. I love to give this example, right? If you have a basketball player, and they break their arm, are you going to have somebody coach him on how to shoot a free throw with a broken arm? Or you’re going to take him to the expert, to the doctor, get it repaired, and then once it’s repaired then you’re going to put a little bit more stress on it, get a coach and get that person to level up. That’s the same thing here. So, you’ll have something that you’re experienced in your life, by the way, most of us, and this is another reason why I appreciate you guys so much, most of us see things that no human should see in a lifetime. We see that every single day. Think about that, and the compound over time, we have to be willing to go out there and accept some kind of help, especially from therapists. So, for me, personally, I say, if there’s a place of your life, that you are just completely stuck, and you’ve had some kind of past trauma, even if you don’t know what that trauma is, go seek a therapist. And then, in that process, I’ve worked with a lot of people who are in the process of therapy, and they’re getting coaching from me, realizing that one is not a replacement for the other. Just taking those steps breaking itself. Breaking it down through the success equation. But first, get yourself moving.

 

Audience Question: If you believe you’re already burned out, what are your suggestions to change the trajectory and rejuvenate. 

Marc Hildebrand: Well first off, I want you to realize that your beliefs and your thoughts, are optional, meaning, you could decide that you are burned out and have this repeated thought go over and over and over again but realize that every single area of your life is now going to be filtered through this limiting belief of you’re burned out. So even just that idea of you’re burned out. It is just a thought. It’s just a belief that you have. I would ask you what is important or meaningful about that thing that you’re doing. Let me give you an example because I know a lot of people experienced this. Let’s say it’s your job, they’re like, you know what? I’m really burned out from my job. I would say, what is important or meaningful to you about the job that you do. Well, number one is, I want to have a safe community for my family. I want to be able to help people who are not able to help themselves. I want to be able to set up this community for success, for what I’m no longer here. They’re here leading from the front. When you start asking yourself these questions, your heart voice starts to come up. And here’s a thing, there might be some boundaries that you need to set. There might be some things that you need to make, in terms of adjustments where you’re working, it could be any number of adjustments that you need to make. But remember, like saying. Did that mean something about you is not the answer? Instead, take a step back. Why is this even important or meaningful to me? Why did I even get into this? That’s a great question, why did I even start doing this? Because you go back to that person who originally started it. You were like, bring this on, you were hoping and wishing you couldn’t wait for work, right? You’re ready to dive in. And then over time, especially when it comes to like, the people that were around, guys, like, I love my partner so much. But so many of them are like really loud head voices, walking around, talking on the outside, right? That can help make me feel like I’m burned out. But when I sit down I asked myself, why did I even sign up? Like, what kind of impact am I making here? I realized, okay, maybe I need to make some adjustments when it comes to my boundaries. But in reality, I can do and be the best that I can be here. And then once I leave here, I can completely unplug because that’s what we need to do. So, we can recover and recharge for the next day. I know so many times in this career, people are like, you know what? I just got to work more. They need me to work more hours, you need to take more time, but when you realize is like when you’re there, you’re not there. You’re really not the best version of yourself. So, have a conversation with your supervisor, because this happens all the time. People are like, “Oh my God, overtime. I’m just constantly called.” Like having a discussion with your supervisor of like, “Hey, you know it, I really want to take care. I really want to do the best that I can do while I’m here on duty, but working extra, I feel exhausted. I’m going home. I’m like swerving when I’m driving, I’m not the father or a parent that I want to be at home, my health is off track. Like, if I want to be the best person that I can possibly be. I’m going to have to say no when you call for overtime. Like, if I’m the last person on the list, please feel free to call me. But, in reality, I need to take better control of this.” And if your supervisor doesn’t, guess what? Figure out a different place to go to, maybe, work a different shift. Maybe go on until like a different. What I had to do was change my division within LAPD, because they were like, “Oh, no, we’re going to still continue to call you.” So, I had to find a position that was going to work for me, but it wasn’t because of the job. It’s because I was letting the job do that right? I was letting the job do that. And when you can take control of that you can see what you can do to change your part of the equation. It just gives you the power to make those adjustments yourself. So really taking ownership of this part is going to be extremely helpful.

 

Click Here to Watch a Recording of The Success Equation: The formula to help you master any area of your life FAST! 

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