After the Webinar: 7 Practices to Live and Work Better. Q&A with the Presenters

Webinar Presenters José Ocaño and Angel Guzman answered a number of your questions after their presentation, Seven Practices to Live and Work Better. Here are just a few of their responses.

 

Audience Question: What was the first practice again? 

José Ocaño: Curiosity.

 

Audience Question: What was the tool that you said you got it from Amazon, and it kind of guides your morning and evening routine? What was the name of that tool again? 

José Ocaño: It’s The Five-Minute Journal. And it comes in fun colors.

Angel Guzman: Can you go through one of the journal pages of what it asks you you write?

José Ocaño:

The journal starts with “I’m grateful for… Three things. What would make today great… Three things. A daily affirmation, so that’s an “I am” statement, something like, “The situation I’m in right now in the current job that I’m at is intense. And so, I always tell myself, I’m okay even when others aren’t. I am okay, even when others aren’t okay with me.” So, it gives me a chance to remind myself. And then at night, it’s the three highlights of the day.

And the final thing is, what did I learn today? There are moments in my life where I’m really good about filling this out every morning and every night. And the last few months, because I’ve been kind of on a grind, and I’m having to like to get myself back to the place I want, there’s been there are months where I haven’t done this. So, if you have a gratitude practice that you like,  dust it off, and don’t beat yourself up about it. Any time is a great time to pick up a good habit.

Angel Guzman:  Yeah, I think that’s one of the important things that I wanted to talk about is the struggle. There are moments when I know all these tools, and I know what’s good for me. But I’m human, and sometimes a part of being human is just feeling the experience and then going through it. Like you said, Jose, It’s not a perfect process. It is just a tool belt that we have, and we can pull that tool when we can and when we’re able. When we feel like we’re motivated to.

José Ocaño:  Yeah, something meaningful we talk about all the time is, we at Hatching, we help people live better, work better. And it’s important for us to be really honest and transparent about this. This isn’t like there’s no silver bullet that fixes everything for everybody, and I have not met a person yet who doesn’t live a life of struggle, who doesn’t like to fall on and off their practices. I think that is just all part of being human. But what I know is that sometimes life is hard, and you’re just trying to get through the day, the month, the year, and we all experience those moments in our lives, but these practices are there to bring us back so that we can live a more intentional, peaceful life.

 

Audience Question: How do you make time for yourself and not feel guilty? 

José Ocaño:  Well, there’s no easy answer for that because I oscillate between like feeling guilty and feeling like, “No, I need this. I deserve this.” Angel mentioned time blocking. Because of the nature of our jobs like, I’m someone who needs to, I have a calendar, and sometimes I have to put on my calendar, “Take a break.” At Stanford they called them compassion breaks and one of the professors literally put like 3-minute blocks to just like take a breath, do the box breathing. So, I think if you’re someone who is very accustomed to your calendar, incorporate these things in your calendar, and put 5 minutes to write in your 5-minute journal. 20 minutes to just or 15 minutes to stretch your leg, go for a walk, if that’s something that’s available to you.

So, I think it’s about prioritizing well-being and knowing that guilt is something that’s a part of the process. Don’t expect there to not be guilt, and just know that that’s part of it, and recognize the guilt and say, “Oh, but I’m not playing with you today.”

Angel Guzman:  I have a mindset coach, and I’ve talked about guilt because I have had situations where I feel guilty for not working enough, or because, I’m not feeling well. how many of us have a day off, or do we have a moment in the afternoon? we take advantage of it, but then we’re still feeling like, “Oh, I could have done this, I should have done this and that.” And so, it’s like working on our mindset to get to a place where I can say “I do, and I’m am enough” with everything that I do. You don’t have to work 60 hours, you know you deserve it. For us to be able to be effective and productive, we have to take care of ourselves, we have to pour into our cup, and we have to make sure that we’re healthy., I know it’s not perfect, and sometimes we go to work and do things that we don’t want to do, however, that’s the discipline, that’s life. But creating small pockets of time for ourselves is just where we can start.

 

Audience Question: What is the best way to balance out your proactive self when working with the mean girl group of the office? I work with crime victims, and I try to be proactive, no matter what. So how do you? How do you balance this proactiveness when you have a setting where you’ve got a mean girl group? 

José Ocaño:  Knowing all of the nuances to it all, what I say is all we can control are our own thoughts, our own feelings, our own actions. Whenever I’ve been in that situation where I’m working, whether it’s a mean girl situation, or whether it’s just like there’s conflict, and I feel uncomfortable, and I don’t feel safe, and I don’t feel valued, or I don’t feel appreciated all of those things. I just remind myself of what I’m in charge of, which is my own thoughts, my own feelings, and my own behaviors. I also there’s a book called The Four Agreements, which I love, and in there it talks about not taking things personally, and I remind myself of the person’s humanity and realize people act in ways because of what they’re experiencing and a lot of that I will never know, and I don’t need to know, and I kind of don’t want to know with certain people in some situations. It’s just that like it’s not personal. You know, there’s that saying everything happens for a reason. I don’t subscribe to that. I believe everything happens, and we give it a reason, we give it meaning. So, when I’m in those situations, I’m like what am I supposed to learn here? What is this difficult person and people and situation supposed to teach me? Am I supposed to learn patience and compassion, or am I supposed to learn I’m worth more than this, and I need to find another situation because this is too toxic for me?

All of those things are available to you and to us. And it’s not so easy for people to just get up and leave their jobs. There’s a lot of privilege in that statement but I also know that there are a lot of people who think they’re stuck in their job and they can’t leave. And I coach them. And they realize that’s a story they’ve been telling themselves.

 

 

Click Here to Watch a Recording of  Seven Practices to Live and Work Better. 

 

 

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